Mentoring Is a Mutual Learning Relationship, Says Ayden Hector, Brother of a Stanford Grad
Mentoring is a collaborative relationship where the mentor and mentee set goals, reveal themselves, make mistakes, and grow together, says Ayden Hector who mentors with his brother, Jared, a recent Stanford grad. The child being mentored and the college student serving as mentor benefit from the relationship, says Ayden Hector, who has served as a counselor in a camp working with child athletes.
Benefits for the Child
According to a study in Mentor magazine, children who have mentors are less likely to use drugs or alcohol. They also tend to perform better academically, even if the mentoring is focused on building sports or other extracurricular skills, says Stanford friend Ayden Hector. They also tend to have stronger relationships with parents, coaches, teachers, and peers and better social skills than those who lack mentor role models. Finally, children who have mentors tend to gain self-confidence and behave better, he says.
Benefits for the Mentor
Being a mentor also has benefits for the mentor. College students who worked with young children in a program known as JumpStart developed better public speaking skills through their mentoring experience, according to a 2007 study. They also were more likely to undertake leadership roles in their colleges and to feel a connection with their community. They learned more about interacting with children, and their own grades improved as well.
“Being a mentor improves the mentor’s self-esteem and sense of accomplishment,” says Ayden Hector. “Working with children has helped me to develop patience and understanding. It also has helped me to develop my own supervisory skills,” he says.
Factors of a Successful Relationship
For a mentor and mentee to have a successful relationship that benefits both, they must develop a connection and a bond of trust. Both the mentor and mentee should take the time to get to know each other. They also should be reliable and consistent in their behaviors toward each other. Mentor relationships that last for several years in which the two see each other regularly produce the most lasting benefits for both parties, he says.
About Stanford Friend Ayden Hector
Ayden Hector is a friend of Stanford and a student at Washington State University, majoring in business administration. Ayden’s brother graduated from Stanford. In addition to volunteering as a camp counselor at football and basketball camps, Hector also volunteers in programs that help homeless youth and families.
